Recently I have been so challenged about really living a life that works 100% for me! I am not expressing all that comes to me in moments and especially times when I need to be the most open. How come I do not feel safe with some people to trust what they do with my vulnerability? Its probably because unfortunately I keep being proven right as being so honest and vulnerable has then been used to gain an outcome that is not mutually beneficial.
I believe one of the challenges is I want to assume the best of everyone and often believe they have the same values and beliefs as I do. Then I find out that in fact I am the fool for allowing myself to believe this is possible just because someone says I love you. Understanding their intent is important but more importantly having the sensory acuity to know when you are being exploited in the nicest possible way. And each time you pull back they draw you back in as they know just what to say and how to make you feel special. The challenging thing about this is the person isn't fully aware of their actions and behaviours and can not see what they are doing. Deniability it seems is the best excuse to get out of something you can't handle or don't want to instead of talking about it, having an open honest conversation.
It's interesting how a person can say something and then behave in a totally contradictory way and then use what they said as the "get out clause" or the "I haven't done anything wrong as I said right in the beginning" line. Knowing that some one is vulnerable in a specific area of the relationship and not being careful not to encourage it, so as to not have the desired outcome which will be inevitable, for me is the act of a master deceiver.
So now what.......Well you learn the lessons you need to, you forgive yourself and you move forward so that the perfect partnership of someone who loves you with the right intention and honours who you are, respects you too much to take advantage of you weaknesses, is genuine is all they say and do and just loves you for who you are! But until that wonderful person arrives in your life to lick your wounds, you share your story and embrace the healing process. You work very hard on not assuming everyone is like them no matter how many times it has happened, it is just you haven't learn't the lesson yet............well now I HAVE! Thank you Divine Source for you love as it is the only true one x
The Year of the Water Dragon
Sunday, 29 April 2012
Wednesday, 25 April 2012
What is LOVE?
This question keeps coming up not only in my head but a lot of friends are asking the same question! So here are my thoughts on it and these are based on my own personal experiences and what I have observed around me.....
Firstly there is self love. Now this is strange thing indeed! I have spent many months if not years working out how to love myself as of course I am my own worst critic in every area of my life. I now know that I would never talk to other people the way I tend to talk to myself so this has been the first learning. Then accepting things about yourself that are just what they are. Each of us is SO unique and until we really understand this concept and embrace it we will never appreciate how amazing we actually are - every single one of us! However there is also the collective self love, belonging, feeling a sense of togetherness even though we spend most of live trying to be individualistic! Eventually we want to come back to being part of the whole! So self love is definitely where we need to start. It begins with acceptance of oneself, recognising the beauty and uniqueness of who we are! Loving our bodies no matter what bits we really do not like as we were designed perfectly even if we over the years have messed things up a little, its the bodies way of taking care of us and protecting us. Once you realise this you can then have a great relationship with the "other you" in my case the "fat me" and embrace both the elements of my body. This allows you to have a new relationship which is kinder with yourself and believe it or not you really want to start looking after yourself much more once you connect properly. Another major area is what you believe in and what your values are. I have always been inclined to stick to my values and beliefs that serve me and others however this has not always made me popular or many friends as no matter what I will not compromise on this area of my life. And honestly it has stood me in good stead for all my life as I am congruent with who I am and my actions everyday. That doesn't mean to say I don't mess up or make major mistakes, but it does mean I can see them, learn from the experience and take with me what I need to in my future.
The next area of love I believe is probably the most difficult is the that of unconditional love. Now this would also apply to yourself, however it seems easier some how to be much more so with those externally. I think the best examples of unconditional love is not human! It is the dog, the cat, the pet, the horse, the wild animals and almost anything that isn't human! Animals seem to have a natural sense of unconditional love and everyday I am reminded about this from the dogs I meet when I go out to the little darling cat I have at home. Wow they really do love you no matter what and their are so sensitive to your emotions, moods and feelings and know just what you need. THIS IS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE as most of the time there is no condition by which they will give you love and affection. So this is a major area for me not only personally but to see how we can embrace this as humans and share it with each other every opportunity we can. What it basically comes down to is that if you do not rely on anyone else to fulfil your "need" for love as you love yourself fully, then unconditional love becomes second nature. This is HARD! Giving so much love and attention and expecting NOTHING in return as it compliments you but doesn't have to fulfil you. This can be in friendships, working relationships and of course in romantic relationships.
So moving on to romantic relationships this is what I feel deep down inside:
If you love someone just for who they are in the present
You love them on an emotional, intellectual and spiritual level
You connect with them deeply on all three levels
You are their equal when sharing in your love strategies
And intimacy is not the focus of the relationship but just the natural express of this great love
Then I believe you have the perfect romantic relationship
This is something I have been experiencing myself simply due to circumstances of distance between me and the person I love. It has a deep level of experience I have NEVER had before. Its intensity and emotional charge is so overwhelming that there are no words in the English language to describe it fully! It is a connection that surpasses time, distance, human nature and blockages as LOVE is the ultimate healing power. It is something I will be working at every day! Our true selves are just love and all of us just have to break down the protection barriers, the walls, the bars we have developed to "protect" ourselves to be able to reach the true essence of who we are as humans.
It is this love vibration that will help to raise the frequency of the planet so that Mother Earth can start to heal herself and sustain our glorious existence for many thousands of years to come! This is my only purpose is to connect with the true essence of love within and share it with those around me and all over the world as we are one and we are the whole! So just be love, breath love, speak love, do love, spread love and most of all be loving to yourself.
I love you all from the depths of my being and hope you will be come with me on this incredible journey to help change the world x
Firstly there is self love. Now this is strange thing indeed! I have spent many months if not years working out how to love myself as of course I am my own worst critic in every area of my life. I now know that I would never talk to other people the way I tend to talk to myself so this has been the first learning. Then accepting things about yourself that are just what they are. Each of us is SO unique and until we really understand this concept and embrace it we will never appreciate how amazing we actually are - every single one of us! However there is also the collective self love, belonging, feeling a sense of togetherness even though we spend most of live trying to be individualistic! Eventually we want to come back to being part of the whole! So self love is definitely where we need to start. It begins with acceptance of oneself, recognising the beauty and uniqueness of who we are! Loving our bodies no matter what bits we really do not like as we were designed perfectly even if we over the years have messed things up a little, its the bodies way of taking care of us and protecting us. Once you realise this you can then have a great relationship with the "other you" in my case the "fat me" and embrace both the elements of my body. This allows you to have a new relationship which is kinder with yourself and believe it or not you really want to start looking after yourself much more once you connect properly. Another major area is what you believe in and what your values are. I have always been inclined to stick to my values and beliefs that serve me and others however this has not always made me popular or many friends as no matter what I will not compromise on this area of my life. And honestly it has stood me in good stead for all my life as I am congruent with who I am and my actions everyday. That doesn't mean to say I don't mess up or make major mistakes, but it does mean I can see them, learn from the experience and take with me what I need to in my future.
The next area of love I believe is probably the most difficult is the that of unconditional love. Now this would also apply to yourself, however it seems easier some how to be much more so with those externally. I think the best examples of unconditional love is not human! It is the dog, the cat, the pet, the horse, the wild animals and almost anything that isn't human! Animals seem to have a natural sense of unconditional love and everyday I am reminded about this from the dogs I meet when I go out to the little darling cat I have at home. Wow they really do love you no matter what and their are so sensitive to your emotions, moods and feelings and know just what you need. THIS IS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE as most of the time there is no condition by which they will give you love and affection. So this is a major area for me not only personally but to see how we can embrace this as humans and share it with each other every opportunity we can. What it basically comes down to is that if you do not rely on anyone else to fulfil your "need" for love as you love yourself fully, then unconditional love becomes second nature. This is HARD! Giving so much love and attention and expecting NOTHING in return as it compliments you but doesn't have to fulfil you. This can be in friendships, working relationships and of course in romantic relationships.So moving on to romantic relationships this is what I feel deep down inside:
If you love someone just for who they are in the present
You love them on an emotional, intellectual and spiritual level
You connect with them deeply on all three levels
You are their equal when sharing in your love strategies
And intimacy is not the focus of the relationship but just the natural express of this great love
Then I believe you have the perfect romantic relationship
This is something I have been experiencing myself simply due to circumstances of distance between me and the person I love. It has a deep level of experience I have NEVER had before. Its intensity and emotional charge is so overwhelming that there are no words in the English language to describe it fully! It is a connection that surpasses time, distance, human nature and blockages as LOVE is the ultimate healing power. It is something I will be working at every day! Our true selves are just love and all of us just have to break down the protection barriers, the walls, the bars we have developed to "protect" ourselves to be able to reach the true essence of who we are as humans.
It is this love vibration that will help to raise the frequency of the planet so that Mother Earth can start to heal herself and sustain our glorious existence for many thousands of years to come! This is my only purpose is to connect with the true essence of love within and share it with those around me and all over the world as we are one and we are the whole! So just be love, breath love, speak love, do love, spread love and most of all be loving to yourself.
I love you all from the depths of my being and hope you will be come with me on this incredible journey to help change the world x
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)