Moving on into the real world

Well 3 and half years of my life changed me forever! Being in an environment where so much about yourself is being questioned, analysed, realised and formed, there was really only one way to go - to find myself again. It is possible to lose yourself and who you are in a business, a relationship or even a combination of both in my case! I love what I did however I paid a heavy price for it as only afterwards do you realise why it felt so wrong at times. Being employed was definitely a challenge for me as having run my own businesses before it was a real change for me to now be employed and managed. Even though I was very much left on my own and in fact had very little support, I still could not make the decisions I believed were right for the the business in the market space. Having your ideas and beliefs not listened too or constantly challenged was just too hard after 3 years. What kept us all going through these challenges were the great people we met and the fantastic atmosphere of the events. But ultimately it was going to self impload! Which it did so it was time to get real! I had one last course of my Fast Track to do which was Billionaire Bootcamp. I knew it was going to be a big one for me for all kinds of reasons so I braced myself and took the time off to go to Portugal! I also allowed myself some down time too as pretty much by this time I was exhausted beyond comprehension. I had pretty much made up my mind what I was going to do and just needed space to think and be. It turned out to be the best decision I could have made.

After BB I decided to make a dash for my life and step back into the real world and I have to say, I was thrilled to be doing so. Taking your own power back is so important but most of us do not realise we have lost it until something like this happens and you think - wow how did I ever allow that to occur? It's called life and the choices we make! I wanted to make the progression as easy for all however not everything is as it seems or so I found out. But I was taught by a talented speaker that never put good money after bad so I walked away being owed a huge amount and just wrote a line under it all as this was the only way I could move on and get my life back. I also believe that when thinks like that happen it is life that makes the balance and that proved to be more true than even I could expect. It was the end of a very big and life changing part of my life and the industry as a whole, but it was time for change.

Since then I have never looked back as the support I got not only from my close friends but those I worked with and promoted which meant the world. Now I just had one last thing to sort out - my relationship - wow and was that going to teach me even more about what is meaningful and what is not!

Now we move into the nittie grittie!

So getting my hands dirty was pretty much an immediate thing. Had to let some people go, hire some new ones, figure out what the hell was going and work with the past GM who was still there. Not all very comfortable to say the least. And that was just for starters.....we had a huge system change over at the same time where anything and everything that could go wrong did! This is what happens when people do not understand the implications of testing a system before you switch to the new one.

So my first 6 months were comprised of hiring and firing, learning the business politics, meeting the speakers as I had not been officially introduced to them as you would expect, get my head around what was going on with the events and deal with the bloody new system that didn't work. Then a brilliant plan was hatched! NOT! It was decided (out of my hands) we needed an business investor to help take over the running of the business and invest some money.

Now this could be a very long story but for my own sanity I am going to cut it VERY short. It was not the best experience I have ever had and certainly wasn't to be my last, however having to beef up security at the events and our offices, defend our personal reputation and deal with all this crap which trying to run the business and put on more events than we had ever done before. Well all I can say is we survived and the investor didn't! You can't be an investor if you don't even invest any money - key rule this. Didn't know people like this existed an this was my first and not last experience of those who have the gift of the gab. With his cronies he wheeled and dealed and under estimated my loyalty to the product. Funny how the personal development industry itself knows how to take care of itself and throws out those that are not real, authentic or care about people. So for the sake of £1 our little skirmish with the con man was over. Whew!

It taught me some very big lessons and unfortunately made me very sceptical of the whole set up as so much was wrong, we didn't know where to start. Now during all of this we were making great changes at the events, crew were agreeing to work with us again and the standard of the events really improved. So did the moral of the whole company and finally after a year we were motoring along nicely. Well as nicely as we could be! Another lesson learnt, very difficult to have any control of a business or know how well you are doing when you don't have a system that can tell! Don't develop your own systems - there are many that work that you can buy off the shelf. We were and events business without an event management system but everything else except the fact it never worked.

By this stage all the last year of blah had not improved business relations between the two parties and so it all got very tricky.  We were stuck in the middle as I agreed and disagreed with both sides. But we had a business to run, so that is what we focused on. One thing that really stood out as our regular saying - behavioural flexibility! Goodness did we take it heart as without it we could not have survived.

Now I speak about "we" as every business is about people and nothing else! I had an incredible team who started off really challenged but worked their way through developing their skills and adjusting to the madness. However over time and after a rather large amount of crap, we started to fade in our commitment and really the only thing that kept us going was the energy of the events! So many changes, so many bad decisions, so much mess! Then even those started to be affected.

When a new CEO was brought in to help and gave his very grave response about the business model and state of play and where things needed to change in the land of OZ, he got fired. And then just when I didn't think it could get any worse, our star product was making his own life changes. I knew it was time for a new adventure...and to get the hell out so I could remain just a little sane but also make time for me to take care of myself!

At the same time I decided to change something else in my life - my husband and that turned out to be an even bigger nightmare. Also a long story that is very boring and not worth the energy - safe as to say, it ended really badly when I decided it couldn't go on and it took another year of pure shyt! to finally remove the bad energy! So two pretty life changing experiences in 12 months - well if you are going to change your life you might as well do it properly.....

The start of a life changing experience

Working in a industry where much is expected had all kinds of interesting challenges to it. The first challenge initially was to get my head around what worked and what didn't in the way the product and concept was being promoted and received. The many answer I came up with was that is was an industry based on people and if we started there we would pretty much change whatever needed to change. Little did I know that the complexity of business relationships and personalities would play such a huge part in everything we did. For me this was an issue as is was one of the main reasons I had left employment and preferred to work on my own without all the politics. So here I was right back in the thick of it. It is only an issue really when things are not going well. My first lesson was to appreciate the dynamics between a promoter and speaker. Most of my previous background was working with huge conferences, seminars, events and meetings that were very much about the organisers and the "committee" and very little to do with the speakers. This was going to be a whole new area of skill set I didn't yet have. So here is the thing......the promoter is only truly in control of the costs of the events, production of the trainings and all the support services that go with it. The speaker and their business is entirely responsible for the sales element. It was the first time I was ever in a situation where your income is based on an external influence of which you have very little control. The next interesting factor was we only had one product. All our eggs were in one basic, the same can be said for the speaker. Now anyone knows in business this is very high risk strategy especially when you expand to other countries and your business gets bigger. Additionally going back to the whole people side of things, there were a number of changes that had to happen to make this venture work more pro-actively and progressively. It was always interesting for me to meet people who were not happy in their jobs but were unwilling to change it or do something about it, as they just didn't understand that is was about them changing and not expecting the change to be external. Never more so in a personal development environment. This meant there had to be a change of personnel which is never easy when you are just starting with a brand new team! One thing I knew though is the team had to grow and we had to focus on customer service, delivery and the events. We were nothing without our team, our speakers/trainer or our crew!

Joining the personal development world

Now this was going to be a journey I had no idea that would totally change my life. I went to this free seminar as I had been invited by 3 different people on different occasions who all said you MUST go to this event! So I did. I attended my first Breakthrough to Success with Christopher Howard. And what an event it was. 4000 people in ExCel! I was not really that keen on the whole "Americanised" energy and clapping hands thing so just sat back and watched. I had booked the VIP package as was keen to fully experience the event in style. This proved to be a very fortuitous move. On day two of the event Chris wanted some one to come up on stage and be a test case for his emotional obliterator exercise - so he checked in with a few people in the audience to her their storey. I oddly enough I put my hand up and he chose me to share my storey. It was about my anger and how to manage it especially in relationships. After chatting to a few other people he invited me up on stage to share in the exercise. Little did I know what was about to happen to me......I ended up doing all the Chris Howard courses, working for them on a part time basis to help with their event management and then I got more involved with the office and what was going on. Eventually after about a year of already working for them on contract, they offered for me to take over the business full time. Now normally I would have said no due to the fact I didn't like being "employed" again as my little business was doing really well. However it was the product and being able to help people in such a great way that really influenced my decision to make the move. What a journey that decision turned out to be.......

Having your bubble burst

What an incredible time it has been. So many ups and downs but most of all so many changes which have been awesome! I had no idea that I was so blind to what is happening in the world as my model was so limited to my immediate environment, that only when that bubble was burst, did I recognise where things were.

Having worked in the hospitality industry for so many years and more recently working in events and promoting international speakers, I had a certain view or perception of what life was really about. You come out of the whole corporate world and discover the entrepreneurial world instead, which I have to say works very differently. I love it as it allowed one to express themselves, work their own hours, work harder than I ever did before and learn so many new things. Now I understood why people were so keen to have their own business, however in reality it isn't a business, it's just you contracting your time out to a couple of different employers instead of one! Not only that but you suddenly find yourself exchanging time for money again! You suddenly have to rely on yourself for your motivation, coming up with ideas, doing things on your own and being on your own a lot! So I started to wander why so many people thought that working for yourself would give you a sense of freedom? Freedom from what exactly? Its very exciting in the first few months when you are discovering what you want to do, how you going to do it and what it is going to look like. So we focus on getting a great name for the business, a logo, a website and our business cards. Then we have to get the social media stuff sorted and make sure people know we have finally arrived in our own business! Now if you are clever you have not burnt your bridges with your previous employers or clients and you actually have some work to start you off, unless of course you decided to change what you were doing completely? What was the reason you wanted to do "this" in the first place? Did I think it would be a good business model even though I had done it as a part time hobby thing and enjoyed it so much? It was great as it gave me a break from my mundane job however doing it full time now, it doesn't quiet have the same feel to it! It feels like a job -ahhhhhh.

This is what I went through when I set up my first business in the UK called KinX Management. Yes I know a very strange name isn't it? Well here was my thought pattern behind coming up with this "brilliant" unique business name............I wanted to help people to sort out their kinks in their businesses. When looking up the usability of the name Kinks I found a lot of unrelated and rather unsavoury links to the name Kinks. So I changed the spelling to KinX purely for the purpose getting a .com site and was easy to find me if you knew how to spell it from the beginning! One thing I will say is it was a talking point so a lot of people remember it.   So where am I going with this........well a job can be just the perfect thing for someone who likes working in a structured environment with people and activity around them. Finding the right job is usually more of the issue, so not everyone should have to think that if they have a job that they are not "just over broke". Even entrepreneurs have to employee people to help run their business! So make a clear choice based on what works for you! If you want to try a business then do one while you are employed and when you earn the same or more and love what you doing outside of your job, then make the change x

What a great day today! So many new understandings and learnings about myself and what is happening around me at the same time. Where was I.....oh yes the very first time I stood up for my values...that really was a turning point in so many ways.There were so many other examples particularly in my working world where I would be further challenged. On a personal level this is true too. Especially in relationships.

 Understanding each others personal and professional values is VERY important in the synchronicity of building a future together. I will talk more about this in detail at a later stage. Keen not to spend too much time in the past so going to give a very quick synopsis of the last 10 years so that it makes sense on how I got the place I am now.....

A little past to say where you have been...

I started my personal journey many years ago without realising it. Moving to the UK now some 10 years ago was a big step in anyone's life, however for me it just seemed to be the right thing to do at the time. I had recently got a divorce, amicable and we still remain friends, closed up a good little business and decided to brave the opportunities in a country I had visited once! Little did I know my journey was really beginning! Wow the years have past and I feel as if it has been a life time already. Being in the UK has changed my entire outlook and perception of the world. It has been an amazing opportunity to experience so many incredible things that if I had remained in South Africa, I just know I wouldn't have grown as much as I have done now. These past 10 years have also been the most challenging of my young life so far, however the most life changing in so many ways. With the weather differences, the lifestyle change, the exposure to a multitude of cultures and the fantastic opportunities to travel to new countries there have been many more ups than downs! Yes the weather isn't great, the lifestyle is totally different and not so sociable or out doors, but then the experience of the countries and cultures are just such an adventure. You certainly become more worldly in a country like the UK especially if you are willing to take risks, learn from others, try new things and really commit yourself to a new way of being. I learnt a lot about myself and what I wanted to achieve and at the time this was a great driver for me to achieve success in a whole new environment. It was a lot harder than I ever believed it could be, but at the same time I have grown so much as person that looking back I am grateful for the challenges that I have faced.

I have always looked at the world as a sort of playground -a place where anything was possible and probable without consciously knowing it. The drive that pushed me to make the choices I have made seems to stem from an influence that is common to most South Africans (even though I was born in Zimbabwe), to get ahead and be everything you can be. Much of the time I believe some of my actions were based on little more than a "hunch" however this seemed to support my journey. Sure I made mistakes but nothing that I couldn't really work my way through and learn from. Finding the right place to call home was a big issue for me as even though I was keen to be able to go to South African type places, I was set on integrating as much as I could into the English culture and choosing to refrain from being around too many South African's all of the time. Not knowing London at all I had no idea but went with my instinct and found happiness in Putney! A great little place to live. Even when I first moved to Putney, I had a real sense of belonging and soon found out that in fact there were many South African's living in the area too. It kind of reminded me of Fourways where I used to live in Johannesburg - same kind of feel but different. However I didn't spend a huge amount of time on socialising as was working for the Hilton Hotel group and amercing myself into the job and English business culture. Constantly being pulled up for my "south africanisms" I quickly learnt under the management of my Italian boss, how I needed to fit in. Now fitting in for me is just a totally foreign concept as anyone who knows me will testify too! So after a year and half of towing the line, the company decided not to expand on a project I had been in charge of, into the rest of the UK, even though I had proven it to be a highly lucrative possibility. It was all about company politics and unfulfilled promises so this was the first opportunity that presented itself to me on my self discovery journey. Was I going to stay for the sake of the job even though the company had not followed through on so many promises they had made to me in the first few months I was there? When I decided to resign it was because I felt that having spent so many hours each day creating this new lucrative market for them, they had chosen to ignore my dedication and hold me back due to internal politics. It was a matter or choice. Once I handed my letter in, then suddenly they were responsive to my needs and ambitions. So I was presented with a situation where I got a personal phone call from my Regional bosses boss, to ask me to stay and they would increase my salary and within the next two years I could expand the project nationally. So there it was - what I wanted but not quiet. Why did I have to resign for them to offer what they had originally promised? I made a decision that day that would affect every decision from there on..., I thanked them for the kind offer and turned it down. It was as I was soon to find out, the first time I had consciously decided that I would value my integrity over the easy choice. That is the day my life changed forever.....

At the beginning...

Well this is my first day of a very exciting journey which I actually started a few months ago! However I am now ready to write about it as feel that I can share with the world my experiences in the hope that in some small way I may be able to help others and I have been helped. This blog is about a personal journey from being very masculine focused in my work and career and the journey I am now on to change my life completely and be in my feminine power more to influence and promote a much better way of life. Part of this is about me personally and a lot of it will be about the things that happen around me and the influence that may have on where I go and who I become. This is the first day of the rest of my life! I love it x